I really love to bake. When I'm anxious or overwhelmed, the kitchen seems like such a calming place to unwind. Mixing flour, sugar, eggs, and vanilla together to create a delicious treat seems almost magical. And then getting to eat the delicious creations? The best! Of course, eating five cookies in one sitting, or a couple 'healthy' granola bars for an afternoon snack is never a good thing. That's why I started the Whole 30 in the first place, to try and curb my sugar addiction and feel healthier.
It's now day 25 of my thirty day program, and I'm still feeling really unhappy about the whole thing. I don't feel much healthier, and instead still feel somewhat resentful for all of the fabulous foods I am missing out on. I feel like I would have been happier at sunday brunch had I gotten to sneak a few bites of Soren's chocolate chip cookie in a jar. I missed out on an imperial cookie from the farmers market, something I look forward to all winter when the market is closed. Perhaps I would have felt happier this morning on my drive to work, had I had milk in my coffee instead of coconut milk.
When reading about the whole 30, they stress that food shouldn't make you happy. But I disagree. I love food, and more importantly the celebrations that surround food. When I go out for dinner with friends and choose to have water instead of a glass of wine, I feel like I'm denying myself something that I find pleasurable. I don't have a drinking problem - so to me, a glass of wine on occasion is a treat! One I look forward to. The benefits of feeling healthier do not outweigh saying no to something on the 'DO NOT EAT LIST'.
On the other hand, I am totally amazed with myself that I have gone 25 days without any sugar. I've learned that eggs are great for breakfast, and don't take much longer to prepare than my traditional peanut butter and banana toast. I'm happy to have some fruit and a few cashews for an afternoon snack, if I need a snack at all. And I've re-confirmed my love of salads, something that I have always enjoyed but sometimes lacked the motivation to pack for lunch.
These granola bars are definitely on my do not eat list, but the kids love them, so I made a batch yesterday. They are adapted from the Oh She Glows cookbook, and if you don't have it yet you should definitely treat yourself. Best $15 you'll spend all week, unless of course you are allowed to eat such things as croissants and lattes... in which case your best $15 might be consumed elsewhere.
*as I try to find comfort in knowing that there may be others out there who also hate the 'whole torture', as I lovingly refer to it, I came across this article which very clearly articulates my thoughts. Why I'll never do a whole 30 again - but you can